Embracing the No! (or How to Stop Worrying and Start Loving Rejection)

In a recent article we told you how to turn “No” into “Yes.” Now we’re going to tell you why you shouldn’t bother.

Face it—we all hate rejection on some level. Nobody likes to hear the “no.” And we’ve all been there. But when you’ve worked hard to land a new listing or had a sale fall through on the way to closing, it can bring back that feeling of failure times ten. Not every “no” can be turned into a “yes.” Here’s how to live and learn with the ones that can’t.

• Give thanks
• Learn a lesson
• Make room for more
• Keep good company

1. Give thanks.

   That client you’ve been courting for the last six months is just within your reach. All of a sudden, your phone calls aren’t being returned and she doesn’t even speak when she sees you at the business mixer. Before you start blaming yourself for failing, think about this: she may have just saved you a ton of heartache. In a tough economy, any client looks like a good client but that’s not always the case. If you were really paying attention, you might see that she’s a bad fit on any number of levels. If she isn’t returning phone calls now, what will happen when you’ve got an offer on the table? She may be Princess Charming in a social situation but a barracuda on price negotiations.

2. Learn a lesson.

   When a potential client turns you down in favor of another Realtor, it’s time for some soul searching and self-analysis. If this happens to you a lot, it could mean you need to adjust your strategy. You may be counting on email blasts and blog posts to reel in the clients when you need to be more targeted and personal with your communications. Perhaps you’re targeting the wrong market—you’d love to be selling high end beach front properties (who wouldn’t?) but it’s the 3/2 single family homes that are selling these days. If singles or seniors are what you’re looking for, don’t just say so. Go where they are. You don’t have to be one—you just have to understand what they are looking for and how to meet that need.
   Another way to learn a lesson: ask why. Yes, this takes courage, but the payoff is worth it. When a client turns you down, just say “I appreciate that you’ve chosen another Realtor. What was it about Johnny Jones that made you decide to list with him?”

3. Make room for more.

   The people who tell you “No” are making room for those who will say “Yes.” All those potential clients who turn you down are just getting in the way of the people who will want to hire you. If you have to try too hard to get a listing, if you have to make unreasonable promises to close a deal, don’t. We’re not saying that life should be easy, or that the clients and deals you want will fall into your lap. Just know that every no brings you that much closer to the yes you are looking for as long as you stay in the game. Thomas Edison tried 1,000 different ways to invent the electric light bulb. What if he had given up after 999?

4. Keep good company.

   Discouragement can be toxic if it’s allowed to grow. Any time you feel all alone after a client has turned you down or worse—fired you–do a little research. Make a list of all the famously successful people who have been there before you. A few examples to get you started: Walt Disney’s newspaper editor fired him because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” Take that, Mickey Mouse! Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for TV.” Jerry Seinfeld froze and was booed off the stage the first time he attempted to do stand-up comedy. Before I Love Lucy, Lucille Ball was widely regarded as a failed actress. Even her drama coach told her to try another profession.

Here’s the takeaway: they kept trying. So should you. You can see rejection as failure or as a valuable learning experience. The choice is yours.